Fyna's Scribble

Let's us skip the Birthday post for an entry because tonight, I feel like writing about the one most precious friend of minw. Well, I have plenty more actually and they are indeed precious to me too, but tonight, is the night that i only remember this one girl. And I wonder why. Maybe I just met her last week and me being back in Shah Alam with the, well I must say for me, not a good relationship we have for the past few days, I felt like that people are changing, I don't mind changing but this has especially affected me. What I really felt was that if a person happens to be all chirpy-churp with you, and you need to abandon me far away? Is there any reasons why friends usually, ALMOST all the time end up this way? Is there a kind of rule where you can't be friends with two person at a time? Okay here's the deal, we are friends, but apparently not friends-friends. Hmm. And this had bothered me for quite a while. AND also, there's another housemate that tend to Hi and Bye anytime, anywhere, only when she likes. Do you get the situation? It's like, she do as she please. In campus, you're fucktardly waving at me like you ain't got another day to see me. But at home, you merely see me as a figure. Perhaps a shadow to you? Oh well, if any boys would read this, of course it will be some typical-girls-drama. And na-ah, I don't blame the boys. This is apparently all girls will be complaining about. And as for me, I see myself as a coward because I could only write this here, and could not even face them properly. Or maybe, I choose not to? You see, I'm even confused with my ownself. It's like as if i'm out of words nowadays to make a conversation bloom and stronger the bonds. Everytime this happens, I will especially blame, MYSELF. How the freaking many times you're gonna get into emotional disrupt of yours? How many fucking times you like to make yourself got caught into this kind of situations? Yes, this ain't my first time. How was last time you may ask? It end like I could even remember. So maybe, just maybe, ignoring and act like nothing happen is the solution? Okay I think i've elaborated more than enough on why the heck I'm suddenly missing these two humans.

Nadia, was none other than a Nadia to me because she is my friend, and counting still, for 14 years. Of course we have ups and downs in making this relationship work. But truthfully, those moment make us realise that no matter how far we push each other away, we end up being friends back again. Worst, I've become more attached to her that even she knows my bra size. I can talk with her on almost everything. Boys? KPOP? anything. You name it. Now let me explain why she could not be replace by anyone in this world. I can even talk with her about things such as porn, gays, bisex. Not to say that we watch any or *ehem* I've tried with other 'friends' and they judge me, oh yeah they did. It's more like they don't get my jokes. And also, there are times when I joke extremely, they can't accept it and start being emotional. I mean, I get you saying me being rude but c'mmon, I can't change for everyone that thought 'You should change' and of course I snap back my fingers and say 'Ehemmmm, seriously? I think you should change too honey.' I think so the world need to be more free and loving. So well Nadia, is the one that is there for me, whenever I went to her. But of course, I need to go find her, she won't magically know that I have problems whatttt. :D okay so, even I myself tend to find her more than others, others don't get me wrong. Aites? I love you guys too. I'm sad, I'll of course tell her. And she'll be like 'hang sedih kenapa?' This is the often thing she replied me. AND to be honest, Nadia never really show me any of her affection to me nor even express me her feelings. Well, this whole main post is just to tell her that I miss her dearly but now up to this point, I've just realised that Nadia din't really tell me when she's sad or happy. Or is it because she never felt sad before? or even happy? OMGG. Well anyways, this is what I felt towards her. Of course there are many words that are not told here, I can't really compile everything today because that thing is actually growing. In other words, our friendship is still growing and I hope growing strong. I love you Nadia :')